Monday, January 10, 2011

to put it plainly, i'm completely lost without you. and maybe you're right, and i'm taking things too seriously. but what about those things you said? what about the things you said you meant?
i tried to replace you with everything, but nothing seemed to fit. i want to, but i can't replace you; this emptiness is all you've left me with.
and he says that he didn't plan to fall in love with her, but maybe love isn't something you can plan.
i'd rather chew on broken glass than keep on living in the past, && wasting time on words i know you didn't mean
she walked away. couldn't say why she was leaving, she walked away. she left all she had believed in.
i need your arms back around me. i take back all the shit i said. all i want is for you to hold me close and whisper in my ear how much you missed me.
so i'm putting the walls back up around my heart. i promise myself i'm not going to let anyone else in. i'm done with being hurt. i'm sick of always being fucking broken.
i wonder if you thought of me when you hugged her close. did you think of me when you stood by her locker and played with her hair? did you think of me when you grabbed her by the shoulders? did you think of me when you planted that kiss on her lips? i was thinking of you when i watched.
i wish you could have read my mind that last night on the beach. there were words in side my head that i could never say. and maybe if you could have read my mind you might have just stayed.
i've come to realize that things between me and you will always stay the same. i can't keep holding on and hoping that they will change. i need to move on and i'm sorry for that.
and the worst part of everything that happened. is when you turned around and told me you didn't ever want to see me again.
you know i miss you but i don't want to miss you if its not mutual. i think about you everyday. and im afraid that i might never even cross your mind.
and i regret every single word i said to him, that made him feel like he meant something to me.
as we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe its not that we dont want to but too much has happened that we just can't.
i'm just your average teenage girl. the one that stands in the corner of the room and watches people interact. the one that always seems to brighten up someones mood no matter what she was feeling. the one thats hiding behind a fake smile hoping no one will hear her cries at night.
i wonder if things will ever get better between you and i. we were once best friends that cared about each other and now we're just strangers with a past. i wonder if you miss me as much as i am missing you.
did you know that you're the last one i think about before i fall asleep? i bet you didn't know that your name is the first name that pops into my mind whenever i get a phone call. i bet you don't know how much i missed you.
as tears fell down her face. she stared out the glass window. she felt her heart shatter as he walked out the front door
memories are strange things, some are so incredibly clear, probably because you've thought about them a thousand times.
i hope you know, that i won't be here forever. one day i'll be fed up with waiting and one day i will leave. one day you'll miss what we had.
i bite my lip and try to say everything i need to. seems to me you have every intention of hurting me. i hope you feel accomplished, because you suceeded. i wasn't a strong girl to begin with.
you took advantage of that, you took advantage of me.

1 comment:

  1. i miss new blogs :/ im sure youre busy though!! i do love reading these